By Bisi Adeleye-Fayemi
Bisi Adeleye-Fayemi
A few days ago, at Abovewhispers.com, we featured an article from Iheoma Obibi on ‘Learning not to be angry’. It was about managing in-law drama, stemming from her recent experience of attending the funeral of her father-in-law. As Iheoma stated in her article, it came from a rant on Facebook that she posted when she got back from the funeral. Her anger, frustration and pain was obvious. I have known Iheoma for over twenty-five years. She is one of the most brutally honest women I know. With her, what you see is what you get. There are many women who bottle up their anger and frustration, so I salute my friend, Iheoma for having the courage to pour out her heart.
Iheoma’s cry raised a number of questions, the key one being how do we manage this complex issue as ‘wives’ without compromising our own self-worth? Just as we think we have got it all figured out, our daughters are now getting married and need guidance. The
dramatis personae in each relationship/marriage are different so the dynamics are never the same. When you marry into a family, you become a part of their lives, for better for worse and they become a part of yours. If you think this is a uniquely African issue, you are mistaken- it is universal. Many women find managing relationships with their in-laws quite difficult. Here are some strategies which might help:
1. Start off by changing mind sets
The typical mindset of a family who has just received a bride into their midst is that this is ‘our wife’. A ‘wife’ is an outsider, with minimal say and rights. From day one, do not present yourself as ‘your wife’. Tell them ‘I am your daughter or sister. I want to be treated as such and …Read More
Source:: PM Newspaper
