By Okey Ndibe
Professor Okey Ndibe
If you happen to know any Nigerian armed robber, pickpocket, small-time con artist, low-level 419-er or participant in medium-grade crime, do invite them to read this important piece, a novel and indispensable how-to-survive manual. Verily, verily I say unto this fraternity of felons: If you hearken to my message and manual, you shall no longer know the peril of torture, detention or death. Instead, you shall be exalted by society and exult in a new found, judicially enforced freedom and prestige.
Kai, if you know any man or woman who has been seriously contemplating a career in armed robbery or any of the allied disciplines of junior criminality (the senior categories being politics and the bureaucracy), do them a favor. For unto them, a prophet is born today—moi! And I bring them, my beloved heroes and heroines, glad tidings of life without molestation, without detention, without trial or tribulation of any sort, and certainly without death.
Have all the armed robbers drawn near? Are all the scam artists here? How about kidnappers, are you all present? The pickpockets, nko? Good! Welcome! Open your eyes, oh long-suffering petty felons. Open them wider, wider still! Now, use some soaped sponge to shine those eyes well well. Shine them that they may begin to see and to see clearly.
My message to you this day is a simple one. Ah ah, your mumu don do!
Don’t you see, oh fraternity of persecuted low-level criminals, that Nigeria is designed and run as a law-free zone? Yes, there are laws in the books in Nigeria. There are statutes that define crimes and stipulate punishments and fines. Some of these laws were inherited from the British who used to run the law-and-order show around here. In court, Nigerian lawyers and judges endlessly invoke this or that …Read More
Source:: PM Newspaper
